Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hey you guys!

You've heard me talk about the hubs before, but I'm not sure if you really 'know' the hubs.  You see, the hubs is a whole different character than anyone I've ever met.  I mean this in the best and worst of ways. 
This is the hubs:
Or at least that was the hubs 2 years ago when I met him.  Clean cut.  Handsome.  Serious. You can tell he's a little rebellious, but still has a good heart.  (I stalked the facebook pictures - he was normal.) 

Then he met me.

I don't know if it is me who does this to guys or if I just allow guys to relax so much that it brings out the - interesting - side of them.

My ex-husband used to dress like a typical guy that has no clue about fashion.  Now when I pick up the kids, he's never out of his Aldo's and looks like a lost member of n'sync.  My ex-boyfriend...well, we won't even go there. 

This dude.  I met him and honestly, it wasn't love at first sight.  Maybe its because I'm too much of a realist to fall for a guy in a uniform. (Or maybe it was something about the FedEx black and purple.)  Either way...I didn't want to give him chance.  Yeah, he was cute, nice, polite, and shy.  Some of my favorite characteristics in a guy, but I had just gone through a batch of speed dating and I was ready to swear guys off for good. 

Then he tells me he'll be gone for two weeks on a mission's trip.  Something in me clicks on.  Hmmm...OK - maybe he's not your typical guy. 

The two weeks hubs is gone to Guatemala, we email back and forth.  I stalk facebook.  I stalk friends of his on facebook.  He seemed like a normal guy...

...until he got me on his hook.

Somehow he weaseled his way into my heart and that was the end of it.  I knew I would marry him, no matter how kooky either one of us was.  

Slowly he started showing his true colors, but by then, I was already his:

Awe.  Isn't he a clueless sort of way?

Take a look at this picture again.  See that sparkle in his eye?  No the other eye.  Yeah.  That's the one.  The one that says: I will drive you absolutely crazy most days.  Yeah.  I missed that one when I was stalking.

So let me share some things about the hubs.

The hubs has 4 topics of conversation: work, motorcycles (Honda VTX's - don't try to talk to him about HD's or he'll offend you with his opinion), tattoos, and the next great thing he found on Craigslist (which I normally can talk him out of before he buys it). THANK GOODNESS!

He used to smoke but has been a non-smoker since the beginning of the year.

He has horrible teeth (which he has no insecurities about) but somehow manages to have a great smile.

He's a prankster and if he finds out you don't like something...that will be the topic of conversation for the next HOUR. (We won't get into hair petting, the word 'moist', scissoring, my best-friend's new nickname: Malaroni & Cheese, and my all-time biggest pet peeve...quoting movies wrong.) 

Let's talk about the reason for today's blog: The reason for this blog is his over-use of 'Hey you guys!' from Goonies, done in the worst voice and wrong pitch.  For anyone who knows me, I'm CONSTANTLY quoting movies.  I really don't mean to.  I'll be talking with someone and a movie quote, fitting the conversation will pop into my head.  I'll say it, smile, and say - what movie was that from?  Half the time I don't even know, so I'm asking legitimately...because if I don't find the answer, it will haunt me until I do.  But I regress...

The hubs has also taken to quoting movies...but not in a way that is recognizable to anyone.  Sure...he gets the words right, but the voice, tone, pitch and mood are WAY off.  I made the mistake of calling him out on this last night.  Seriously....for the next HOUR, the only words he said to me were 'HEY YOU GUYS!' but not in a funny, Sloth-like way.  No.  Every way BUT like Sloth.  At one point I posted on facebook that I was going to throat punch him. 

He thought I was kidding. 

 I wasn't. 

So, as I warned him last night...paybacks are hell.  Here's a side of hubs most of us try to ignore.
Unless hubs is being posed for pics (like this one), he looks absolutely, 100% homo-sexual.


NOT posed.

Fun in his mom's shorts. 
He's wearing his mom's shorts? 
Yes.  Yes, he is.

Even a cup of coffee can't get that grin off...or is it the daisies in the corner?

Maybe a masculine Miami Ink shirt...oh wait.  Nope.

I know...the backside...oh wait...that's just creepy.

Oh here we go!  Halloween...oh, yeah.  That...yeah. 
No.  No words.

Maybe a group shot of the guys in the family... least 3 of the 4 look uncomfortable with it.

Finally a male-bonding picture! that a
COLORING BOOK?  {shakes head}

Sigh.  At least he's good with the kids.
Real men get pedicures.

In all seriousness, he is really good with the kids.  He takes them to school every morning and has more patience in his pinkie, than I do in my entire body.

He puts up with my snarky personality on a daily basis and takes it in stride.  (A feat I would like to see any other man try to do.)

He also knows how to get on my nerves like no one else.  Which I guess is his way of getting paybacks. SO...

What do you say, hubs?


for now?


  1. Have not laughed so hard in a while... whew!... hilarious!

  2. This has made my day! Poor hubs!!! I feel bad for him...just a little bit...ok that feeling has just passed. My husband is the same way and drives me nuts...I so need a blog!!! n

  3. He's a good guy, Sarah. Glad he's part of the family. Love ya! And again, thanks for the laughs.


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