Friday, May 25, 2012

The Poop Chronicles, Continued

In all fairness to the girl, I need to keep the stories equal and post one of my favorite stories about the boy from the archives.  This happened about 2 and a half years ago, but still just as funny as the day it occurred.

So, here it is:

I brought the kids to work with me due to a snow day.  In the late afternoon, both of my children need to go to the bathroom, so like any good mother who drags her two kids to work I told them where it was and let them go off on their own.

About 4 minutes later, the girl comes running back to the office.  She can't open the door and I hear my friend Nikki, who's sitting at the front desk, directing her through the door.  'You need to turn THEN push.'  Nikki, bless her heart, realizing she was not going to get the concept, walked to the door and let her in.  The girl looked up at Nikki and said, "Johnny needs help wiping."  Without missing a beat, Nikki tells her to 'go tell your mom'.

The girl comes running back to give me the dreaded news.  I go to the restrooms and see how I can assist my 5 year old.  I get to the door and knock.  I hear some shuffling and the door opens a crack.

Once he sees its me, he opens the door and lets me in.  I walk in and my jaw drops.  Here's the boy with his pants around his ankles and poop smeared down his leg, on his underwear and his sock, looking at me like the world might end.  I just start laughing.  I can't help it!  What else could a mom do at work with no change of clothes for her poop-covered boy?!

I ask, "What happened?!"

He looked at me so innocently and said, "I was peeing and thought I had to fart, but I pooped instead."

I cannot stop laughing.  I thought I was going to have the next accident!  This is one of those moments where you take a step back, and try to make a game plan for the best approach.  Commando? Um...yes - definitely. No socks? No brainer.

I clean him up the best I can, while telling him a lot of guys have the same problem and he wasn't the only one to do this.

Hoping the others couldn't smell the boy, I ushered my kids back into the office, quick sent an email about taking a personal day and shooed my kids out the door and home so the boy could take a bath.

All in a day here The Poop Chronicles.

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