Wednesday, February 23, 2011


We're doing a study at church on The Journey. 
Our journey out of our Egypt into our Promised Land.  

Can I be real with you for a moment? 

(I know blogs are supposed to be sunshine and roses,) 
But I don't feel like sunshine and its not smelling like roses. 

More like a backyard full of dog poo on a warm, rainy day. 

My journey has taken me to the desert.  In the past two weeks, partly my doing, but mostly situations beyond my control (or those I have let go control of) have taken me from feeling secure in who I am, where I am, and what I am to feeling about ready to snap. 

My mind no longer shuts off.  I'm dwelling on the same issues over and over again.  No solutions come to me as much as I pray.  I feel...


And frankly, I'm just not sure where to turn.  I feel walls building up around my heart to keep me from getting hurt.

I feel my fists clenching ready to come out swinging at any possible predator.

I want to run away rather than stay and wait it out, or the very least - just zone out for awhile.  

Things I use to do (crafting, reading), hold no joy.

There seems to be nothing to look forward to.

Yes.  I am in the desert. And I want out.

I want the promised land.  I want to see the fruit of my obedience. I want to hold tight to the promise of Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd;
         I shall not want.
 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
         He leads me beside the still waters.
 3 He restores my soul;
         He leads me in the paths of righteousness
         For His name’s sake.
 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil;
         For You are with me;
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
         You anoint my head with oil;
         My cup runs over.
 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
         All the days of my life;
         And I will dwell in the house of the LORD



  1. Forget sunshine and roses.. we ALL feel this way sometimes.. and you will find your way out.. it just takes time.. give yourself that! Thinking about you and sending lots of hugs your way!

  2. I don't know everything that's going on, but I want you to know that you are not alone in your trials. No matter what you're going through, there's always one who knows how you feel. My past year has been very difficult and I am starting to see the silver lining. Hopefully your's will come sooner rather than later.

  3. We have all been there, or we are there now. I have no great words of wisdom or cure. If I did, I would use them. Just remember Jesus is always there with his comforter the Holy Spirit. All words sound like "blah blah blah blah." And your reply is,"No one can understand. We have not really been there." I know it is lame, but think of your blessings, help someone who is worse off than you, pray, join the fellowship of other Christians. Keep in touch, I care! I almost didn't read this because I am in a hurry. I hope I can be a comfort to you.


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