Shark Week

Hubs almost got kicked out of the house today.
Our conversation:

Him: How goes shark week?
Me: Still flowing like the EAC
Him: My buddy's girlfriend had hers for a full month.
Me: The poor girl
Him: Yeah - he was mad they couldn't do it.  She said, 'what do you want me to do about it?'
Me: Yeah - the poor thing.  Suck it up big boy and realize she doesn't want shark week to last longer than a week any more than he does.
Him: He asked her if she had chap stick.

(Pause - silence - realize what he's referring to as he does the motions and then laughs)

Me: Do you want me to kill you now or later?  That's not funny.  We have enough crap to contend with than to try and make you happy during our little slice of hell on earth.
Him: He was just kidding
Me: He's lucky he's not here or he'd get throat punched.  I'm tempted to throat punch you just for sharing your not funny 'joke'.
Him: (Silence)
Me: (Give him the look of 'try me')

Moral of the story - That crap is not funny during shark week.